jokes

Whats the difference between an outlaw and and inlaw?

The outlaw is wanted!

Any more?

 Doctor doctor I think I am loosing my eyesight

well you jolly well are this is burger king

Knock Knock

Who's There

Scott

Scott Who

Scott Nothing To Do With You

(Sorry, I know its cheesey!=0

Doctor doctor can you help me out

Of course where did you come in...

hahahahahahhahaha! thats funny! 

I have one...

(people running around panicing)

girl1:everyone the viper is coming in 1 hour!!! everyone RUN (girl 2 runs off everyone is till franticly paniced)

girl 2(returns): Everyone the viper is coming in 30 mins everyone SCREAM! (girl 3 runs off everyone is really scared)

girl 3(returns): Everyone the viper is coming in 15 mins!! everyone HIDE!! (girl 4 runs off everyone is looking for hiding places)

girl 4 (returns): Everyone the viper is coming in 2 minutes!!!!!!!! everyone RUN TO SAFTEY!!!!!

viper: Hello I am ze viper where are de vindows

everyone who did not get that ask me XD

What goes HAHA plonk-a man laughing his head off!

A man is driving along the motorway, when, through no fault of his own, he crashes into another car. He gets out to swap insurance details, as does the other drivr, who is a stunning blonde. The man apologises to the woman, explaining that it was not his fault. The woman tells him not to worry, and explains how she was on her way to her friends party. As she will probably not get there ijn time, she asks the man if he would like some o what should've been her friends birthday present - a large bottle of wine. Sensing that things were going well with this attractive, flirtatious lady, the man accepts. The lady gets out a large glass and pours the wine into the glass, handing it tothe man. After drinking his glass, the man realised that the woman had not had a glass herself. He asked her if she will have one. She replied "I think I'll wait until the Police have done their breathaliser"

Crafty!

Clever woman. hahahahahaahaahahaha! Thats a really good 1.

John got a call from his girlfriend, Buffy, who said "I've got a problem."

"What's the matter?" asked John.

"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?" asked John

"It's a big rooster," replied Buffy.

All right," said John, "I'll come over and have a look." So he went to Buffy's house. She thanked him for coming over and led him into her kitchen to see the jigsaw on the kitchen table.

John looked at the jigsaw then turned to Buffy and said, "Oh, for Pete's sake, Buffy, put the cornflakes back in the box."

love it!

thats funny!  

A guy is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worry about getting seasick.

The doctor suggests, ''Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.''

The guy replies, ''Would that keep me from getting sick, Doc?''

The doctor says, ''No, but it'll look real pretty in the water.''

any more?

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck."

So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe."

So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."

So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"  

I have lots of Jokes!   

Good on Eco Dude.

A policeman pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches a driver.

"Is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road"?

The driver replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "... that's your air freshener."